Wednesday 30 November 2016

You can't have it both ways

What's the point of a second referendum on EU membership if the country is controlled by a cabal of non-dom national newspaper proprietors, as some of the luvvie left would have us believe? These Masters of the Universe won’t have changed their minds and they’ll just use their backstage manipulative powers to produce the same result. Probably with an increased Brexit majority just to annoy the Bremoaners and their sidekicks.

More rewards for failure

The EU is giving its useless gang of civil servants a pay rise of 3.8%, so that's a Xmas bonus of €5K for Juncker the Cluncker, the president of the Europeon Commission, and a total wage of around €400K for a failed Luxemburger politician, who specialized in helping to facilitate international tax dodging.

The latest beef

Vegans are moaning their heads off because the new plastic £5 notes are made with a polymer mixture containing traces of beef tallow. So they’re going to boycott the new notes. But so what? Alternatives exist and if people insist on adopting weird dietary practices, then they must expect a little inconvenience.
    Oh, dear. It seems that tallow is commonly used in lots of products, including banknotes, so £10 and £20 notes probably contain it. Okay, it looks like the over-vocal vegans will have to use virtual money via bankcards and phones. Oh, no! They probably also contain tallow in the plastics used to build them. Looks like the vegan community will just have to fill up its collective pockets up with pound coins and lump it.

Tuesday 29 November 2016

Be nice and this happens

The PM is sending 150 troops to Poland to defend our wartime allies against nuclear weapons deployed in Russian-occupied Koenigsberg, East Prussia. It is hoped that this gesture will persuade the Poles to be reasonable in Brexit talks.
    The response from the Poles has been a demand that British schools start offering Polish classes so that they can send all their kids over here to be educated at our expense.

A New Stone Age

The PM has been accused of cherry-picking Red Ed Miliband’s economic ideas. While we’re laughing at that notion, let us hope she doesn’t take a fancy to something more tangible. Like a May Monument to rival the Ed Stone.

It works both ways

The Bremoaners would have us believe that 68.93% of those who voted to Leave the EU have realized that they were bamboozled by non-dom national newspaper proprietors, and they have since changed their minds. So we need to have a second referendum.
    But isn’t it equally likely that 71.4397% of those who voted to Remain in the EU have seen how well things are going and changed their minds? And the result will go the same way again after wasting a whole lot of cash, which the government will have to borrow because current governments are constitutionally unable to live within our means?

Not so much a crime, more an attack of sour grapes

There’s a lot of talk about the EU ‘punishing’ Britain for daring to vote to leave it. Could someone please remind me when membership of the EU became obligatory and Britain’s decision to quit became a crime requiring punishment?
    Matters arising include the question of how the EU could punish Britain without inflicting at least equal, and probably greater, damage upon itself. After all, we’re talking about a nation which  is actually putting cash into the budget and which has a huge trade deficit with the EU.

Monday 28 November 2016

Unbalanced and aware of it

There are people who will tell you that the BBC has to give a balanced view on everything when, in actual fact, it never does because the Beeb is structured to foster a certain type of mentality. Which is why it’s full of tax-dodging luvvies, people with a sense of entitlement as big as all outdoors and egomaniacs on frankly ridiculous salaries for what they actually do. It’s all about the BBC’s “our kind of people”. Like Sir James Savile, O.B.E.

Barack come lately

Outgoing President O’Bummer extending a hand of friendship to the Cuban people after the death of retired dictator Fidel Castro is a tad superfluous, seeing over 3 million of them are already living in Florida. It’s something that’s been going on for decades, mate.

Sunday 27 November 2016

Wrong & repulsive

Global Warming Swindlers are like Bremoaners: events have exposed their flim-flam as bogus but they have made too big an investment of credibility to admit that they got it badly wrong.

Good to see the back of him

What do we make of the late Fidel Castro? Mugabe with more Russian cash. Russia’s deniable mercenary. And who took over when Castro got too feeble? His brother. How very North Korean.

Can’t cope, shame.

It has been revealed that broadcasting “legend” and Tory politician baiter Mr. “Are you free?” Humphries can’t manage his own kitchen. Apparently, he has to rely on his daughter binning all the out-of-date food from time to time. Which certainly throws a new light on Radio 4's Mr. Grumpy.

Something else for the TV sports channels?

Anyone else heard of FootGolf? Me, neither. Apparently, it’s played in 30 countries and there are even international tournaments. For the benefit of fellow ignoramuses, like anyone cares, it’s played with a full-size football on a course with 18 holes. The object, natch, is to get around with the least number of boots of the ball.

Saturday 26 November 2016

Just a thought

If President Trump every goes to Moscow to meet Vlad the Putin, he’d be well advised to take a pocket Geiger counter with him to make sure that the tea is polonium-free.

Brain in neutral

An advert for Heinz Baked Beenz has been banned on ’elf ‘n’ narzi grounds. The ad shows people using empty cans as drums and the Advertising Standards Authority has banned it because the ad contains no warning that swallowing an empty baked bean tin could be dangerous for children.

He asked for it!

Tony B. Liar is now a self-proclaimed insurgent? Oh, good! That means the bastard can be shot on sight as a danger to good people everywhere.

Recalled to Life? Probably not.

The case of the 14-year-old girl, who was frozen after she died in the hope of being revived 200 years from no, has raised some predictable views. Such as:
    “The soul leaves the body at death so a reanimated body would be a soul-less zombie.”
    And the evidence for this claim is . . . ? Entirely absent, it would appear. It’s an opinion as lacking in proof as the notion that a frozen corpse can be reanimated.

John Major’s MAD

The former Tory prime monster has united with former New Labour fraudster Tony B. Liar to create a Movement for the Abolition of Democracy (MAD). Major, who labelled colleagues “bastards” when they opposed his efforts to sell Britain down the EU river, is fed up with being subject to the “tyranny of democracy”.
    He thinks direct rule by people like himself and Mr. Liar would be much better. He also believes in the Europeon policy of letting the people vote and vote again until they get the result right. Which is why Major and Liar are campaigning for a second referendum on Britain’s membership of the EU. And maybe a third if the answer still doesn't come out right.

Friday 25 November 2016

How expert are these “experts” really?

According to the Institute for Fiscal Studies (headed by a Bremoaner, funded by the EU), the current decade will be the worst for living standards since the 1920s because these “experts” predict no growth in wages in real terms, which ignores the fact that current living standards, compared to the unemployment, poverty, endemic disease, etc. of the 1920s, are relatively wonderful.
    Even if the fat cats aren’t getting as rich as they think they should, we’re still doing okay.
    Even worse, the”expert” opinions are based on guesses made by the Office for Budget Responsibility, another nest of Bremoaners, which has a truly horrible accuracy rate when it publishes its guesses.

Good thing, bad thing

Democracy is fine as long as it goes the Establishment’s way. But if the people go their own way, it becomes “the tyranny of the majority”, according to former PM and europhile J. Major. Oh, those dreadful majorities! How undemocratic can you get!

Data disaster

Oh, dear. The Global Warming Swindlers have suffered another reverse. Data from the notebooks of polar explorers visiting the Antarctic up to a century ago has shown that the extent of the ice shelf there hasn’t decreased due to global warming. In fact, it has grown slightly over the 30 years for which there have been satellite observations.
    So the GWS are now telling us that the South Pole is less sensitive to climate change than the North Pole. Which kind of takes the global out of global warming.
    BTW: still no word on why the North Pole isn’t ice-free during the summer, as predicted by the GWS.

Thursday 24 November 2016

Cops need fun too

What do you get if you park your hired Porsche, with the hazard lights flashing, illegally outside a Paris night club because you’re too refreshed to drive and you’ve decided to go home in a taxi?
    You get the car blown up by the police.

Insulated from reality

“Austerity is about living within our means”, our Conservative prime minister said yesterday. The words just bounced off the thick skulls of SNP, Labour and Liberal MPs, who believe in living at someone else’s expense.

Wednesday 23 November 2016

Damaged Goods

The Twitosphere might be full of garbage fly-tipped by twits but it can provide an interesting kite-flying area. Cue great consternation when president elect D. Trump proposed UKIP luminary N. Farage for the job of Britain’s ambassador to the US and exposed just how invisible the Establishment waxwork, one K. Darroch, has been. Exposed to the point of the Prime Minister needing to hold his hand and pretend she has confidence in him.
    Of course, Darroch has been his own worst enemy; he had the gall to slag off Mr. Trump during the presidential election campaign, which is what you’d expect from a paid-up member of the sneerocracy.
    Of course again, the Farage Notion might be just a bit of fun but it does have the secondary purpose of telling other political leaders that The Donald is not going to take any crap from them. And that is a statement worth making.

Tuesday 22 November 2016

Joe got it right, if only in the Stan Freberg version

You really have to wonder about the mentality of the CPS mob. The man accused of killing the MP Jo Cox is described as having a meticulously tidy bedroom with his books carefully ordered according to subject matter. So bloody what? You could say the same about my bedroom after it has been tidied up. And I refuse to believe that makes me a potential mad killer.
    He also has books about Germany military history. Me, too. And a baseball hat with the word Deutschland on it. Me not too, in that case. But again, so what? So much BS and padding dilute the real evidence. Like reading a letter from MP S. Kinnock to the court. What does that have to do with the matter before the court apart from nothing at all?
    CCTV, eye-witnessed and forensic are what count. Pathetic attempts at character assassination don’t. “Just the facts, ma’am,” as Detective Sergeant Joe Friday never said.

Eyes to the Sky Again

Here’s an interesting idea: when president, Donald Trump will take funds away from the not-so-great Global Warming Swindle to fund a Return to the Moon programme by NASA. And that includes diverting all the NASA personnel, who are currently pushing the GWS agenda, back to space research.

Monday 21 November 2016

Sideline twerps

Some commentators need a good smack round the back of the head to introduce them to the real world. Like the guy who was moaning about what the Baltimore Ravens were doing at the end of their American Crunch match with the Dalla Cowboys yesterday.
    You’re 10 points down with a few seconds to go? You’re not going to win. Because the only way to win is to hurl a pass to the end zone and have it caught by one of your guys. It doesn't matter if the convert is any good because your only hope, in the last second, is to do a kick-off, mug the return guy for the ball and score a TD. And how often does that happen? Apart from never.
    A sensible commentator would just have made the usual vague noises about which college the players went to and wait for the final whistle.

Sunday 20 November 2016

It’s a fair question

Could it be that the reason why no one has seen much of Hillary Clinton since the Presidential election campaign is that she’s in therapy, trying to get her head round the fact that the Great American Public picked Donald Trump in preference to HER!

An unwelcome sign of the times

Oxford Dictionaries, publisher of the definitive Oxford English Dictionary, has made post-truth its Word of the Year. It’s an adjective applied to the cod statistics and downright lies concocted by politicians, their spin doctors and their apologists when they’re trying to sell something dodgy to the public. [see Tony B. Liar’s WoMD in Iraq, Project Fear, etc.]

It’s a fair question

A quick flash after I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue on Radio 4: the BBC blaming Donald Trump for “sinking the world’s biggest free-trade deal”. Presumably, that’s the Trans-Pacific Partnership deal. But why would the other countries call it off just because the United States decided not to be in it? Or were they expecting America to pay for it? Or it could just be the BBC being the BBC.

Saturday 19 November 2016

We’ve given up, sez govt.

The Daily Mail has been embarrassing the government with pictures of how much inmates of Her Majesty’s prisons are enjoying themselves with abundant drugs and takeaway dinners. So what is the response from Her Majesty’s government? An attempt to sneak through cancellation of some regulations to make prison life even softer. Do we remember when the Tories were the party of Lor ‘n’ Order? Nope.

Friday 18 November 2016

Get gone

We’re not really encouraged to wish that people would be run over by the corporation dustcart and die horribly. But I’d make an exception in the case of Lord Kerr, who thinks we need more migrants because the native population is “so bloody stupid”.
    Of course, what got the racist lord’s goat was that we stupid idiots dared to vote against his cherished EU and his access to the gravy train. There’s nothing like self-interest under threat for bringing out the nasty side of the overprivileged.

Wednesday 16 November 2016

Warm welcome

President O'Bummer got a typical Greek welcome when he dropped in on their president in Athens: commies rioting and chucking fire bombs on the streets in an action replay of their reception for Bill Clinton when he did a stop-over in 1999, and dumb insolence and dirty looks from the guys in tutus and tights guarding the presidential palace.
    Clearly, no one told the outgoing US president that November is the official Bad Behaviour Month for Greece's communists.

Tuesday 15 November 2016

Eternal Mounting Scorchio

Guess what? This year is going to be the hottest year in recorded history. Which is becoming an annual event promoted by the not-so-great global warming swindlers. Of course, this latest hottest year thing is just an “assessment” intended to support the GWS at the UN, who are having another of their junket conferences in Morocco.

You pillock, George

The sacked Chancellor, G. Osborne hasn’t grasped the simple fact that the electorate doesn’t vote for a prime minister. They elect MPs and the leader of the largest gang of them becomes PM. Such monumental ignorance reflects some of the reasons why no one wanted Mr. Project Fear as Tory party leader and PM.

Monday 14 November 2016

Alibi in place

H. Clinton is putting the blame for her defeat on the FBI director, who revealed that more of her dodgy emails were under investigation. So nothing to do with her poisonous personality and all her personal baggage, like the Whitewater thing and being responsible for all the dodgy emails in the first place?
    How ungrateful can you get? It’s only losing the election that kept her out of gaol. And her argument that it was her “turn” to be president because she’s a woman never held water.

Sign language

That thing American & Canadian footballers do, where they point upwards: I’ve often wondered what it means, and now I know. It means beware of the crap from the seagulls flying overhead. And having seen the numbers of them at the end of a CFL match in Montreal, there’s a lot of being ware to do!

What goes about . . .

There seem to be a lot of people trying to mark president-elect Donald Trump’s card and tell him what he can’t do in office; the Secretary General of NATO being the latest of them.
    If I were Mr. Trump, my reaction would be: “Back off. I’m not president yet, but when I am, you can be sure that your card is already marked.”

Sunday 13 November 2016

Easily solved problem

’Uman Rightists are up in arms over the use of spit-hoods to prevent criminals from spitting at police officers. Fine. Their use can be abolished if the rules are changed to allow coppers to smack the spitter around the back of the head, in the manner of Special Agent Gibbs of TV’s NCIS, every time the criminal is disgusting.

Equality? Right!

Wee Burney Sturgeon, Scotland’s first natterbox, has written to H. Clinton’s to thank her for her contribution to politics and the way she has greatly advanced the cause of gender equality. I wonder if anyone is writing to Donald Trump in the same terms to thank him for turning the tide a little against the monstrous regiment of women, which includes Angie Merkel and all the main party leaders in Scotland?
    Maybe I should get right on with that myself.

Silly stories inspired by self-interest No. 616

The Whatevers are saying that Donald Trump is in the pay of President Putin and that’s why Hillary Clinton should take his place @ the White House. And their proof of that is what? Oh, we’re just going to have to take their word for it. And we’re just going to have to ignore the fact that they expect to stick their hands further into the taxpayers’ pocket with Whitewater Hillary as president than if Mr. Trump gets the job?
    How very Democratic of them.

Pointless posturing

The Whatever Tendency is having lots of fun in New York and other American cities. But what do they expect to achieve? A couple of minutes pretending to be Wolfie Smith on BBC news programmes which they will never see?
    Do they really expect Donald Trump to look out of his window, see the mob of Clinton’s Deplorables outside and suddenly realize that his election to America’s top political job was a big mistake and the people who voted for him got it badly wrong?
    Like that’s going to happen.

Saturday 12 November 2016

Parasite protests

A visiting American friend described the rioting in the wake of President Trump’s victory as a collected panic attack by the fascist left and over-rated minorities, who see their privileges endangered by people who are not subject to the guilt trips, which worked so well for the Luvvie Tendency in the past. So it’s all about the money. Well, just as long as we know.

England Magic

That Screw You, FIFA, We’re Wearing Poppies international turned out to be a really strange affair. The Scots turned up disguised as Pink Panthers and England delivered a mirror-image of their normal performance. Instead of England thrashing about and getting nowhere near the goal, the Scots delivered a number of fruitless shocks and England kept sticking the ball in the net.
    Maybe this game can be preserved in aspic as a reminder of what England can do on their day.

Friday 11 November 2016

Not very democratic, really
    11 November 2016

It’s true. President elect Trump’s victory was Brexit Plus Plus Plus with the Whatever** Tendency doing its usual spiteful moaning. They call themselves Democrats but their first instinct after a democratic election doesn’t go their way is to start rioting and burning stuff and behaving like demoCRAPs. Would the Republicans have done any of this if the Establishment had managed to rig the election the other way. Of course not.

** Utube link

Let us get real, people!

Putting the Clintons back into the White House would have been like putting the Blairs back into Downing Street. How much sleaze and corruption do you want?

Thursday 10 November 2016

The ABC Principle

America has spoken, and it said “Anyone But Clinton” and delivered a resounding “NO!” to their version of the Blairs. Hillary Clinton’s fate is just a poke in the eye for the Establishment sneerocracy, who think that the world exists for their comfort and enrichment, irrespective of whichever political party or system of government prevails. First Britain, and now America has shown that the sneerocracy can be dented.
    Sometimes, the bad guys do come last.

Wednesday 9 November 2016

A year of achievement

Brexit. President Trump. What next? Tony B. Liar in gaol?

Cloth-ears rides again

1. Does Captain Picard of Star Trek TNG really say: “to seek out new life and nuke civilizations”?
2. Let’s go back to Washington and moron the elections.

Another triumph for Nigel Farage!

The Man of the year for 2016 encouraged the British people to reject the corruption of the European Union’s pillockracy and the vested interests in British political circles.
    He delivered Brexit.
    Then Mr. Farage travelled to the United States to advise the Trump campaign on running its “Brexit Plus Plus Plus” challenge to the corruption of the political establishment there. Thus America has been spared a presidency during which Hillary Clinton would have been eternally looking over her shoulder, wondering if her next stop after the White House would be a gaol cell.
    And let us not forget: Donald Trump is Britain’s friend. Clinton never has been.

This one deserves a biscuit

The Students’ Union @ Reading University has come up with a good excuse for not entering University Challenge, which it has no hope of winning. The young fogeys have decided that they’ve been upset by Paxo the Inquisitor’s sexist remarks about their girls and they’re too deep in a huff to be able to pick a team.

Tuesday 8 November 2016

Everything’s coded messages, these days

Take the FIFI ban on England and Scotland wearing poppies on their shirts for an international football match. Decoded, the message reads: “Where’s the effin’ bung?”

Losers’ Selective Justice

Frustrated Bremoaners are trying to get the CPS to bring criminal prosecutions for giving voters “misleading” information during the great EU referendum campaign. Of course, only Brexit advocates would face charges and everyone who had a hand in Project Fear and other Bremoan propaganda would not be banged up.
    The Bremoaners have had the cheek to send a letter of demands to the CPS. Sounds like the Bremoaners should be locked up for attempting to waste taxpayers’ cash.

Monday 7 November 2016

A Law Made By Asses

The Hunting Act (2004) has turned out to be yet another piece of New Labour class hatred legislation which has achieved the exact opposite of its intentions. Membership of the registered hunts has never been higher and the demand for premium horses, which can jump obstacles and follow hounds, goes up and up.

The consumer remains swindled

National power consumption at the end of October was provided mainly by gas & coal (70%) and nuclear (21%). Most of the rest was imported from France. Wind power contributed just 0.6%. And yet the government is carrying on with New Labour’s crazy plan to ‘decarbonize’ Britain. Never mind Brexit, how does the PM think she’s going to keep the lights on?

Sunday 6 November 2016

Up in smoke

A man who was arrested in St. Albans has admitted six charges of possessing old firearms. The police announced that there could have been six more charges but they cannot be laid as the evidence was blown up. Any old excuse to avoid doing a spot of work?

Saturday 5 November 2016

Facing extinction?

“Not tonight, dear, I have a severe case of election loss of libido.”
    It would appear that another of these marvellous surveys has found that Democraps are at much greater risk of vanishing from the planet through refusing to breed. Which has to be something else that you couldn’t make up!

It’s democracy. Suck it up.

Who decided that judges are gods whose decisions are absolute? These pampered customers @ the public-sector trough deliver mere opinions, and in a democracy, newspapers and members of the public have an absolute right to disagree with those opinions, and do so forcefully, no matter how much it upsets vested interests and the luvvie lobby.

New world order

I must have dropped off for a couple of minutes but when did we vote to put a hedge fundista, a Brazilian crimper, a Bremoaner plumbing millionaire and a bunch of dotty, out-of-touch judges in charge of anything?

M. Le Pits

The French president, F. Hollande, has found a place in the Guinness Book of Records. His approval rating of 4% is the lowest since records began in 1846. Even Charles de Gaulle [the greatest cross I have to bear is the Cross of Lorraine; W. Churchill], whose subjects took to the streets in open revolt in their millions in 1968, never dropped that low.

Friday 4 November 2016

Just wilful attention-seeking

“This is your decision. The Government will implement what you decide.” That’s what it said in the £9 MILLION Project Fear leaflet, which was issued after MPs voted 6-1 to dump the decision on Brexit on the electorate. No ambiguity, no spurious legal woffle there. That’s something that even the dimmest judge should be able to grasp.

Thursday 3 November 2016

Government is bad for your health

New Labour bribed motorists to pick diesel-fuelled vehicles on spurious global warming grounds. Now, we’re being told that particulates emitted by diesel engines are the cause of lethal air pollution in cities, and owners of diesel-engined vehicles are going to have to pay a pollution tax to drive into 16 cities. Which won’t do anything about air pollution but will put cash into the government’s coffers to fund the next assault on the nation’s health.

Wednesday 2 November 2016

The Right Direction

The raucous H. Clinton has just been ranting on the TV news about not going back, she’s going forward. But if going back means returning to a government system which is a corrupt mess, and going forward with the same people means more of the same, wouldn’t it be a good idea to go sideways with different people in charge? After all, they could hardly make things worse.

Posturing by the Clyde

Glasgow is to provide the country’s first official shooting gallery for drug addicts. Research elsewhere has found that providing addicts with somewhere to shoot up on the taxpayer conveys no benefits in terms of health and persuading the addicts to stop taking drugs. But Scotland under Wee Burney Sturgeon is now the land of “look at me” gestures.

Not the whole story

President O'bummer took office with the slogan ‘Yes, we can!' Eight years in the job, and nothing of any great value achieved, have shown that the slogan should have been ‘Yes, we can! But we can't be arsed!'

How typical?

I was reading an article on banks putting up interest rates and annual fees on credit cards, and the illustrations of how much more customers would pay were based on “a typical £4,000 balance”. Crikey! Do lots of people really owe that much on a credit card?